Christmas with out the family

Christmas with out the family.

I have never considered my self much of a christmas child. I usually have found christmas and every thing connected to it to much of a hassle. Of course, just like any child, when I was younger I liked the time when we opened the gifts. Today most all of them are forgotten, bank space in my memory, except maybe two type of package. One was from my grandparents on the fathers site and the other from my mothers site. From my fathers site usually came a book of the better kind. Tradition that my parents have kept alive since my grandparents passed away.
The christmas that though most sit in me, are the first christmas where there came no package from my mothers site. Even though I was by then 17 I did miss not getting the wool mitten or the wool socks depending on what my grandmother thought I needed and had knitted for me that year. We lived on the other site of Iceland and I did not get to see here much. During christmas it felt strange.

I did not like christmas.

For many years there after I thought I would not mind if christmas did not come. To me it was nothing special. That of course had to change when I got to know Guðný and suddenly had a child on my hands. Still it was always difficult for me when it got closer to christmas. I hated all the advertising that started appearing in the beginning of December and some time before that. Christmas song in the radio before middle of December I could not stand. The stress and rush of was neither to help. It is Ironic that as a commercial Photographer I had the most work around christmas and sometime barely made it to the dinner because of work. Most of that was though fun.

Therefor last year when Guðný had to go home to Iceland and I decided to stay in California and check out Slab city I thought it would be no problem for me. I would find some thing to eat and be able to give the dog a bit better food. We would have a nice time and I could spend my time working on my images and read some book.

Of course things did not work out this easy and It became harder than I thought. It is not easy to stay away from the family around christmas. Specially if those that you dearly love are not close by.

Dreary Darkness

It is not many years since I realized what really was bothering me. It was the darkness. The deep dreary darkness that surrounds Iceland in December and January. Cold black wall around this Island floating in the atlantic. In Iceland, around christmas, we have just about 3.5 hours of light. This can be hard. Even harder when there is no snow and stormy weather. Then we can be with out real light for days. Some years I wished I just was like the bears and would go to sleep in middle of November and wake up in late February. i hate tis darkness that just barely became grayish in the middle of the day.

Christmas tree in slab city

Christmas in Slab city

In Slab city I realized that not only had I decided to be away from the family for the first christmas in my life, but I was somewhere in the deserts of California thousands of miles away from home with nothing but the dog to comfort me.

Slab city is a not any ordinary city and that increased the strangeness of it all. When I drove in there I in fact hoped that a friend from Switzerland, I had learnt to know in San Francisco, would be there, and to my luck he was. This cleared the way for the plot of not having to cook only for my self. Not being alone. Marcus decided it would be a fine idea that we would spend the christmas to gather, go to the breakfast at the community center and then cook a dinner in the evening.
There is not much you can buy in the shop in Nihland, CA. A place that would probably be desolated if it where not for the snow birders in Slab city. I managed though to find some ham and cook a fine dinner.
It also helped a bit that I found out that I could get a internet connection in Nihland and could thus move Iceland closer to me. I could skype home.

Do i like christmas now?

I realize now why I did not just disappear into the country up to the mountains over christmas all this years. I did in fact like them. Not the religious part, as I have considered my self more or less heathen all my life. Neither was it the opening of the packages that had made christmas for me. Nor the work.
For me christmas was celebration of the family staying to gather and being alive.
It was a family thing. In fact not so strange as in Iceland we do have the gathering of the big families on both my mothers and father site and then Guðnýs site was added. We could sit, eat, drink, chat and play all kinds of games long into the night, where the whole family would join in. It was in fact fun. Having then on top of that, grate In-laws that love christmas and every thing connected with them, added to christmas being in fact one of the best time of the year. The time where Icelanders decorate the houses with lights. So much light that it is almost as the sun is shining 24 hours a day. Resting on the sofa with hot chocolate, cookies and a good book to read while the cold wind plays a symphony on the house is also nice at that time of year.

Once again I am away from the family, now in Guatemala, and I do miss them. Christmas is here for the family, not for the shop keepers as many would think. It is more important to have a happy family than the house filled with gifts.
In Iceland it is more a celebration of light and family than a religious thing. We celebrate with the children, with the family and with our friends. It is a good reminder of how good the world can be if we just decide to have it that way.

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